...FULLY DEPRESS...

Recently I’d being ruin up all my stuffs on my project.

This makes me feel very depress and bad temper. When I’m desperately to speed up myself on doing my final year project, I keep on spoiling it. I’m keep on screwed up my things. What the hell I’m facing of? I’m getting mad now. Feel very tension and pressure.

Every things are not in the right order. They are running out of track...I don't understand why they are becoming like this?...I feel wanna run out of these bad and worst situation after i'd messing up...(feel funny of myself)...Desperately wish i could have powers to 'redo' all of these messy again...

Feeling blur about my future...no brightness...just cloudy...
Don’t know whether I can cope and handle all of this well?...
Don’t know I can control my feelings well before I’m hurting others feelings or myself again?…
I really don’t know?...

Need some advises or supports or consoles or comforts to 'stailize' my feelings and cheers me up...really in a down mood...

HELP ME!!!

...EXTREMELY HEADACHE...

Topic : Leaching of Local Manganese Ore

Recently i'm really extremely headache on my final year project.It is because i'm facing a lots of problems & worrying about it...

Problems :
1. Manganese ore stick on the ball mill while grinding (because the ore contains moisture & it should be put in the oven to dried it first before put into the ball mill for grinding)
2. Should do sampling until get around 50g of sample for XRF & XRD then only do grinding (but according to the PHD that appointed by her, ask me to grind all the 5kg sample to 75µm then only do the sampling to get samples for XRF & XRD)
3. Before do XRF, should do LOI first (but she did not know it until i told her)
4. The XRF & XRD testing need 25g each. Is not 75g each.
5. All the leaching steps are not sure yet.
6. Only can start do the leaching on January.
7. ... ... ...
8. ... ... ...

I feel very stress & pressure now...Feel blur on my project...Feel unsecure of doing my project...Feel not enough time for me to complete it...sigh...

I'd wasted 3weeks on doing all the wrong things, waste my time for not resting, waste my energy, the most important is after know that i'm doing the wrong steps & ways, it makes me feel more stressful & more tension & more pressure & more worrying...

Now i'm only starts do all the things in the right way for the characterization part but for the leaching part still blur blur.I dont know whether i will repeated all the mistakes that i'd been done by get all the wrong informations & unknown informations...

All the worries come because of her unassurence. When discussing with her, i feel unsecureness. I scare she is giving me not enough informations because she is not sure on all the things yet. Although she is keep on assuring me that i'll finish on time, i also feel worry after listening from her.

This makes me feel very worry & tension...school is reopening soon...February is coming soon...
Coming to the end of year = more holidays (Christmas, New year, Awal Muharam, Chinese New Year...etc...) = technicians holiday = laboratory close = i cant do my work...
Thus there is no time for me to do mistakes again & no time for me wondering...I must straight away hit the point when i'm doing my work. So that i can completed all stuffs on time...

Hope everything will be goes well & smooth...
Hope i can completed it on time...
God Bless !!!

Finally...

Finally finish the final exam...
Before the last paper, i'm keep wondering that what will i feel when i finish my last paper?...relax?...happy?...cheer?...
ehm...but when that moment arrived...i just feel tire n wanna sleep...none of the thinking expression come out...Hahaha...

Now is my holiday...the holiday that i'd wished for long long time ago...coz can have a good rest & enjoying my life...
Watching movies & playing games & chating & check mails & going out...is my routine for these two days...
Quite enjoyable now...('',)...
no more urgent assignments + no more tests + no more presentations no more reading books & notes = no more pressure + tension...
but if constantly keep on do all of these stuff everyday, i sure will be start boring again...Heehee...such a trouble girl...

Think the enjoyable time will be pass soon...coz 2molo need go back campus do my fyp project...huhuhu...
Bye bye my beloved holiday...
Will miss 'u'...